Grapes and Gratitudes

Today probably ranks in one of the top-10 worst days of my life, and for me, that is really saying something. My morning was wretched, my afternoon was over-stressed, and my evening-oh god. I wont rant to you about my whole day, but I feel that you should probably know what happened with the last post and everything.

So my third day of work downtown ended, and my dad couldn’t pick me up because he had to go to a gambler’s anonymous meeting (another long story), so he had me fend for myself without telling my mother and without telling me how to get home. I have already been traumatized with transit and really do not like to use it very much, and I have never used it alone downtown. Why am I afraid of transit? Oh, it might be the fact that every time I use it alone or specifically for downtown without a large group of people, something horrific always happens. Drunks getting roudy and over-touchy-feely, someone passing out, someone having a seizure, and my favourite, watching someone commit suicide right before my eyes as I waited for my train, using the train I was waiting for as their method of choice. I hate transit.

So anyways, he gives me the wrong bus to catch and I end up getting off right in the center of “Crack Haven;” one of the most dangerous parts of downtown. As I wait for what I am hoping to be the right bus to get me somewhere I can catch the 408, three thug-like fellows come up to me. They call me “butterfly” and ask me to join them. When I ignore them one touches my shoulder and I shrug it off, realizing that this was very bad and I needed to get somewhere where there was more people stat. As I try and limp away (my foot still isn’t healed and so I still have this giant cast), one quickly jogs to where I’m limping. His words? “Looks like our butterfly has a broken wing.” Well, at least they were poetic. Right as he was commenting on how I couldn’t “fly away,” the bus came and they backed off, I’m guessing because of the witnesses. The bus stop was right by an alley way. If that bus had come 30 seconds later, I would have been dragged in there. I hate transit.

The sad thing is that is only half of the story. I get on the bus and thank God for helping me. Turns out it goes where I need it to and I transfer to my desired bus. Then, just as I am almost home, I watch a car/motorcycle accident occur right before my eyes. the car did two 360s as the two passengers of the motorcycle flew off the bike and hit the concrete road hard. Someone in the bus screams. The bus stops and makes a mini barricade as someone calls 911. Some get out and try to find a way to help. Others stay in the vehicle, unsure. I had watched the impact and the crack of the man’s spine as the car hit him. I had gone up to them both to find neither breathing. The bus driver and two passengers who were nurses coming home from work tried to do the best that they could. I couldn’t watch them try and breathe life into the lifeless corpses. As soon as the people who do real barricades came I ran as fast as a person in a walking cast could. I ran and dry heaved and cried all the way over to the path I have tred so many times beside the highway (it eventually leads to my house). I silently watched from there until the police arrived, rationalizing my running to only that I didn’t want to be questioned by anyone, and, in consequence, relive it, rather than my initial thoughts of I need to get away I need to get away. I tried not to puke when they hauled the bodies off the street. I tried not to cry as i called my mother and told her what happened, limping away from the scene and trying not to look conspicuous. I tried so hard to be strong and not break down for the third, fourth and fifth time in front of her that day, each being more a failure than the last. I tried not to sob myself into oblivion at the park, breaking down for the 10th time that day. I tried to stay calm when my mother brought me to Chapters to help me stop the dry-heaving cycle. I tried so hard.

I hate transit.

June 29th, 2011.

PS. I’m alright right now. I just wanted to explain what happened today. Please, don’t worry about me. I’ll be okay. Don’t worry, alright?

…and now I’m sitting in chapters trying not break down for the 11th time today. I’ll explain when I’m feeling a little more stable.

You breathe in stardust

Get yourself high

And find out later it was all a lie.

.

Go fish.

.

-Ariel

dinobike:

hazellwood:

hornblower24601:

I almost hate to ask - but is there a fanfiction archive for the French Revolution? I know almost everything’s going to be crap - but I wouldn’t mind taking a look…

Uh, depends. Do you want Saint-Just and Robespierre having sex?

i can’t believe this is actually happening

oh… my…. gosh… XD i love the internet.

Well, besides the morning overload of information, everything went quite well! Though, I have to admit I was a bit worried when right as I was about to enter I hear my boss talking with the other lawyers I’m working for saying: “No no, I said HAZE her! not TAZE her!!” and the chorus of aww’s afterwards XD haha. Everyone ended up being really nice, and I learned a lot :) Because of today, I am excited for tomorrow now rather than afraid XD huzzah!

Now… off to clean XP

being sneaky at work. shhhh….

Because I’m a horrible person. XD I miss you dear <3 And I should probably shut up before I start sprouting out the darndest things xD love you child~

;n;

I honestly wish I could pull off “cute,” but I can’t to save my life. Cute just isn’t my body-type. I can be everything but cute, thus, I envy cuteness. Perhaps I’ll be an albino bunny in the next life, so all I’ll ever be is cute. Ha. I wish. xD

   Your                           Where to start?        

         Starting                          There

              Point                    Really      Are

                    Makes         Is                     Many

                               No                            Pathways

                            Difference                     That

                            To                            Lead

                     Human                 Ultimately        To

                 Hearts                         To               Sad

                If                                   A                   Dead

             You                             Fantastic             Ends.

    Think       Are                          And

   About           Hopelessly          Soul-

      It                          In          Fulfilling

Logically,                           Love,

              Though                    And

                             I                     We

                   Feel         Will          Will

                   I’ve                  Never     Pretend

                 Known              Know          We

                    The                Them            Have

                     Best.               All.           Chosen

                                Today                      The

                           We         There                 Finest.

                         Are                  Simply          This

                          United                  Is             Is

                              By                      No      The

                           A                                Right

                    Beautiful                        Way

                       Heart-                   To

                        Felt              Read

                        Love         This

                                Poem,

                                       As

                                         There

                                               Is simply

                                           No wrong turn.

ariel is designed to remove mines and obstacles on land and underwater in the surf zone
ariel is also believed to work with archangel raphael in the healing arts
ariel is an albino bunny

ariel is an example of a new approach to user interfaces called augmented reality
ariel is de twaalfde van de satellieten van uranus
ariel is a delicious
ariel is the only gold medal winner against wines with alcohol
ariel is a windows based product
ariel is the “feminine counterpart” of uriel only as a reference point
ariel is a mischievous airy spirit in shakespeare’s the tempest

ariel is a succubus or at lest partly

ariel is usually predictable in that she likes to occupy the same spot at every manatee education program
ariel is made from some of the best premium grapes grown in california

….wat.

thesapphoshow:

dinobike:

Because of Ariel’s mind and the horror within <3

Oh mind-horrors.. good in some cases and then there is this.