My room is now bare save for the essentials to live in for the next week. They wanted me to move most of my stuff in today, but I won’t actually be living there till the fourth… We are just heading out with my stuff to move. This actually hurts more than you know. Not the losing of my house part, but the losing of my family. Even my cat is freaking out because she knows I’m leaving. I’m going to miss everyone so much. I need to stop crying. This fucking sucks. Fuck.
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Ariel Secret #58
I’m actually really nervous about all the weight I’ve lost… 20 pounds in 2 months cannot be healthy. And it’s continuing to drop, though at a much less accelerated rate than before. I mean, don’t get me wrong. The weight I was at before wasn’t healthy and damaged my self esteem quite a bit, and being skinny has been my life-long dream. Still, I didn’t want to lose all this weight from stress and slight starvation/constant dehydration from poverty and my own psychosis… That can’t be healthy either. I can see me ribs now, and so many other things on my body that I never knew even existed before. I feel over-exposed now, and it makes me nervous…
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Alright. Well that went well enough.
Our sale didn’t sell everything, but we were able to raise a largish sum of money. not to mention get rid of a lot of things that needed to be gotten rid of. The first day was when everyone came. Sappho and Stephen were the best helps in the world. Not to mention all the other people who randomly showed up to help out. <3 Now the rest of the items we will either keep for some period of time until the house sells, or donate them to charity.
It was hard. I’m not going to lie. A lot of my past walked in that door. People I hadn’t seen since the old days, when all the crap was happening to me. People who stood and watched rather than help me. I wonder if anyone recognized me… I know I did, them. And then two old colleagues of mine came and sparked so many memories of things that should have never been that my head just about detached itself from my body from the velocity. They are doing well now though, and for that I am of the utmost gratitude. I’ve been on edge as of late due to everything, and I do apologize to the people I have snapped at during this time. Everything is changing for me so quickly, and I don’t know what to do with myself half the time these days. Things like this should never constitute bad behaviour though, and so I am sorry for those who have faced both my tears and my stupidity with certain things. Uhg. All will be well. I am thinking positive. Things look bleak now, but the future has the potential to be painted in the brightest of colours, if I let it. And I will let it.
I just want to be able to help people again.
~Ariel
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EXTREMELY IMPORTANT PLEASE READ AND REBLOG
My family and I are having to sell everything we own this weekend and we need people to come!! If you are in Calgary during the 15th and 16th of October Please come to our estate sale!! 300$ camera equipment is going for 2-10$! 2000$ couches for 1000$! 3000$ guitars for 1300! YOU’LL NEVER FIND PRICES LIKE THESE AND WE NEED THE MONEY TO SURVIVE. Please, reblog this if you think any of your followers may be interested and/or are in the Calgary region. It would help my family a hundred-fold, as we are dirt poor and becoming the equivalent of homeless right now. Please. Help us get the word out! We would be eternally grateful. Thank you.
~Ariel
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I’ve never been so moved by a single person’s kindness than I have today.
My mom says we have food but we don’t really have all that much that is usable for dinners and things…. just a bunch of canned goods and flour really. We weren’t planning on having supper tonight because everything is too inconvenient etc reasons reasons and so forth. Either way, we are now eating a birthday supper for my mom tonight because my friend showed up at my house unexpectedly today with groceries. Gloria, you are heaven sent. I love you. I know I will never be able to repay you for the love you have given and the hope you’ve touched me with, but know that I love you with all of my heart, and will always be here for you in your time of need. Friendship does not get any truer than this. She is a beautiful human being.
Thank you Gloria, for being my friend in all ways. You are forever my sister. I love you.
~Ariel
